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Monkey Bike Madness

By johnboy - 3 July 2005 36

Those unfortunate enough not to have mothers of their own must take some comfort from the Chief Minister’s efforts to fill this role for the whole community. His latest exhortation to metaphorically put a jumper on and eat more fruit and veg is in the Canberra Times.

The problem it seems is Monkey Bikes. The Chief Minister gives every impression of having uncovered this menace aided only by his heroic Office of Fair Trading. So it’s worth pointing out that the Parliamentary Secretary to the Federal Treasurer, Chris Pearce, was banging on about this last Tuesday with remarkably similar language.

Now I’m an inhuman heartless bastard. Many people told me that just last night. So I think this is an opportunity in danger of being missed.

Monkey Bikes are so obviously insanely dangerous that any parent who would let their children get on one and ride it on the road deserves to lose their children.

People smart enough to figure out birth control are allready being consigned to the dustbin of history by the implacable hand of demographics, and monkey bikes are a rare opportunity to level the playing field.

I call for free monkey bikes for any parent who wants to give their children one, and let nature take its course.

What’s Your opinion?


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36 Responses to
Monkey Bike Madness
Bodhichitta 2:13 pm 05 Jul 05

I scared the crappers out of a couple of teenage kids one afternoon when walking with my kids. My kids were on pushbikes on the path when these little bastards come screaming up, force my kids off the path and kept going. I saw them stop about 50m up the path, so I ran full pelt up to them, yelling at them not to bloody well move.

Imagine a 6ft 2inch slightly overweight guy towering over these two kids abusing the crap out of them for riding on the path…I almost feel sorry for them when I think of the looks on thier faces now.
In the end I told them to ride on the dirt, if I see them on the path again Ill destroy the bike.

Maelinar 8:53 am 05 Jul 05

Just grab their toy and see if it floats in the lake, if it doesn’t no great loss..

Vic Bitterman 5:47 pm 04 Jul 05

Feel free to do so bonfire. Your fellow citizens will applaud your actions. The gendarmeie will most likely turn a blind eye.

bulldog 4:40 pm 04 Jul 05

Bonfire, invest in a balaclava.

bonfire 4:33 pm 04 Jul 05

i almost got cleaned up by one of these morons on teh bike opath around lake ginninderra one night. about six of the little shits were screaming around.

this is a clear case of parents not giving a shit. they would have to know, its not like they cant hear them start up and disappear.

if only i could legally drag the little bastard off his bike and give him a thrashing.

ssanta 4:15 pm 04 Jul 05

Audience participation compulsary. spitting and the throwing of projectiles…

bulldog 3:34 pm 04 Jul 05

Not only would I bet on that, I’d watch it for hours!

ssanta 3:13 pm 04 Jul 05

Drunk fat dudes on monkey bikes riding home from the pub. sounds like something that would compete with monkeys with weapons on the back of greyhounds for an illegal betting idea

bulldog 3:03 pm 04 Jul 05

Monkey bike; aka mini-bike or pocket bike. Just like a motor bike only 1/8 the size. Not really intended for the big fat boguns who seem to be riding them.

Ari 2:51 pm 04 Jul 05

Do they make recumbent monkey bikes?

panda 1:42 pm 04 Jul 05

What’s a monkey bike?

ssanta 1:37 pm 04 Jul 05

he he he ‘tour de pubes’ is gold.

bulldog 1:29 pm 04 Jul 05

Just more things to dodge.

On the basis of their arhument against pocket bikes they will have to look seriously at where and how bicycles are being used. They are potential dangerous and capable of high(ish)speeds.

Furthermore I am sick of dodging the “Tour de Pubes” in the mornings and evenings.

Ralph 12:34 pm 04 Jul 05

I’d never heard Monkey bikes until Today Tonight started getting all hysterical about them. Apparently the kiddies have been taking to the roads and footpaths on them.

bulldog 11:37 am 04 Jul 05

It seems to me the basis of the argument is about the poor quality and upkep of the pocketbikes. This is no different from any other product on the market, you get what you pay for.

They are potentially dangerous, so are pushbikes, go-karts and just about anything else you care to name. I don’t have any real solutions but I’d think that any sort of control/registration/bans will not be met well with by the public.

I forsee the Gov’t finding a way to use this craze to raise revenue somehow.

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