Now I’m sure that Zed Seselja and his cronies are genuinely nice people who, deep in their hearts, really believe that what they are doing is for the good of Canberra and the Canberra people in general. Of course, being Liberals doesn’t real mean that they are liberal in the true sense of the word, in fact, they are generally far from that and one only needs to look as far as Steve Pratt to realise this.
And yet, in this enlightened age of collective bargaining and new age music, they still cling to the freemarket will rule all policies and even more genuinely think that they can really do some good to the Stanhope ravaged communities that cringe in the windswept, barren and featureless suburbs such as Gungahlin, Lanyon and Dunlop. But, as much as Zed is young with a big goofy smile, and his party believe what they are doing is right, they seem, well, pretty wet and ineffectual to be brutally honest.
Indeed, if they were a 14 year old hockey playing girl you’d suggest that they need a few more footy seasons in them.
Quite a few years ago in a time now seemingly forgotten by many, a great fire ravaged this place. The fire itself was not unexpected, nor was the damage it caused given that it was roughly a kilometre high with a front as wide as Tasmania. And when the chief Minister Mr Stanhope stood up in front of all and sundry and declared that it was his fault he was widely applauded. Sadly, in the coming months, Mr Stanhope backed away faster than a alter boy from a priest from the comments he made and pretty soon it seemed that the fires where everyone’s fault. That is, except his.
Weekly NewsletterEvery Thursday afternoon, we package up the most-read and trending RiotACT stories of the past seven days and deliver straight to your inbox..
And then came an election. An election that could have only been won by one party. And that was the Liberals, led then by Brendan Smyth, an annoying elf that one day woke up in the bottom of the garden to find he was supposed to be a leader. Of course, he faltered, Stanhope blustered and bullied and an unlosable election was lost. Not only that, the ineptness of the Liberal party at that time saw them actually lose ground and allow majority government for the first time ever in the ACT.
Sorry, what was that again? The ALP allowed Canberra to burn to the ground and the opposition lost votes? Ineffectual indeed, like throwing oysters at a charging rhino on speed.
Much soul searching followed with rumours flying left, right and centre, but mainly right. People quit and became loudmouthed but totally ineffectual independents, and leaders changing faster than Italian prime ministers. Indeed, for a while there was no opposition in the ACT given the state of the Liberals and that Deb Foskey, the Greens member was more worried about staying in her tax payer funded public house whilst carpeting everyone about global warming.
And in the meantime no-one noticed Mr Stanhope as he simply went about his ways totally unhindered and unencumbered by any political opposition. A statue of Al Grassby appeared amid much wailing, moaning and gnashing of teeth. Gas fired power stations suddenly were planned for every suburb, pot holes got larger, government enterprises went broke and dodgy looking deals happened.
And yet, still the opposition sat in stony silence like the giant rock moas on Easter island, not daring to make a move in case someone noticed them and asked what the hell they were actually there for. Except for Vicki Dunn, who can’t stop speaking.
And then there is this Moonie stuff? I mean, what the hell is an Australian politician doing cavorting around in Korea with someone who’s minor plans are world domination and major plans are probably not worth repeating. Is Zed serious when he remains steadfastly silent on the issue? Besides, weren’t we fighting these little blighters only 50 years ago for world domination? And if Zed is cosy with these guys does that mean we will be a sister city with some other Asian place that no-one has heard of or will ever visit? No thanks Mr Cultist, I want my Canberra free of bizarre cults and place names.
Having said that, I’m still sure that Zed is a really nice bloke with a big generous Christian heart. But this also worries me because, like 747 Kevin and John ‘Blokey Mateship’ Howard, will he push these views onto us, the community? I mean, I’m not adverse to being nice to people and I regularly give to charity but seriously, have these guys actually thought about the abortion issue rather than just follow the teachings of swarthy bearded Jew who went around annoying Romans?
There is so much to like about the current ACT Liberal party, but as yet I haven’t discovered it and so with two weeks to go before an election I am seriously in a quandary. Whether to emigrate to the UK or to New South Wales, except I’ve heard that New South Wales is even more a basket case than here.
I’ve heard that Wiltshire is nice in autumn.