Unearthed Reviews: The Death Storm. Three stars

Barcham 16 May 2013 1


Introduction paragraphs are for the weak, I am too metal for them!

This is an Unearthed Review! If you do not like it, then I apologise!

I am reviewing The Death Storm, they are a storm of death.

Here is what they have to say about themselves:

Originally formed sometime during 2007 with both Ben and Lance still in high school, The Death Storm went through a series of name changes such as CODM and The Chris Barnes Tribute Band, but nothing besides a few ideas of songs and short practice sessions happened before going cold for the next few months. Mid 2008, ideas of death metal manifested itself again, an after a short time, the Death Storm was created. Lance then collected another few members in which to fill live spots.

Here is what I have to say about them:

Yesterday when I said that I believed there exist only two ways to avoid having the lyrics in your metal song sounding really lame.

1. Pull back and write about something mundane like Christmas hampers.
2. Dive in, go all out, and sing about the devil fighting vikings on a mountaintop with a war-axe.

I have been proved wrong.

There is another option.

3. Don’t use words at all, just make the kind of noises Satan might if he had a bronchitis.

It works. I have no idea what the song is about, but I can’t fault the lyrics.

The Death Storm list their influences as music, video games, and the omniverse. I don’t know if the omniverse are a metal band, but I’m going to assume they mean the actual omniverse and therefore are claiming they draw influence from a hypothetical collection of alternate realities.

The one track they have up, Eyes of Malice, does sound kinda like that. It sounds large.

Eyes of Malice is gloomy, big, moody, intense, and all the other things that make a good gothic sounding metal song sound like a good gothic sounding metal song. It really enjoys the genre and theme it’s playing with which is nice. Too often metal tracks get hung up on showing how fast their guitarist can play, instead of taking it slow and building some mood.

Quite frankly if you’re going to go right out and call your band The Death Storm and release a song called Eyes of Malice you should probably make an effort to suit those names.

They have done this admirably.

Three stars.

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One Response to Unearthed Reviews: The Death Storm. Three stars
LSWCHP LSWCHP 10:29 pm 16 May 13

Hmmm…Ben and Lance from High School. The Death Storm. Weird music with instrumentals that don’t sound too bad actually but vocals that sound like a stomach recording from someone who recently dined at the Copa.

I’m sure they’re nice pale faced pimply youths with fashionably greasy hair and lots of black clothes and tats and stuff, and I somehow feel a bit bad about raining on their little parade. But I wonder if these guys have ever experienced the reality of Death. And I really do mean Death with a Capital D.

Lemme see now..have they had 4 family members including a baby killed in a single car crash? Have they had a mate step off his motor bikesat speed, never to be seen again because his body was in a thousand pieces? Have they attended the funerals of a bunch of young gay friends who were toothless and wasted and grey haired and looked 80 when they went into the ground because of the ravages of AIDS? Have their wives had a late miscarriage? Have their friends mums died weighing about 40 pounds after a year of breast cancer? Have they been to the funeral of a 17 year old girl who killed herself for reasons that nobody understands?

I’ve been through all of that shit, and a lot more over the last 35 years. I’m not asking for sympathy or anything at all, I’m just saying what’s happened. Maybe I’m getting old and cranky, but I look at these young people romanticising death and I think “You’ve got no F*&king idea. One day a hard rain’s gonna fall on you or your friends, and then you’ll suddenly realise that death isn’t really a cool skull graphic and a guitar with some studio effects, death is actually an ache in your chest and tears in your eyes that will keep coming back to you for the rest of your life because your mate got on his bike when he pissed and that was the end of him”.


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