Where’s the best place in Canberra… to get the snip?!?

Kramer 6 October 2009 26

After an all too brief (and successful) reproductive life, I’ve found myself with 3 little Kramers, and no desire to keep getting up in the night or buy a van. So rather than take any more risks and end up with an accident (I’d rather have my risks and accidents on a mountain bike), it’s about time we sort things out… permanently. Since my wife had to undergo all the pain and stress of pregnancy and childbirth we (she) figured it was only fair if I took one for the team on this front. So it looks like I’ll be getting a vasectomy before I’m even allowed to look at my wife sideways again.

laser vasectomy cartoon

Ideally, I’m looking for a place where I can stumble in after a bit of “dutch courage”, read a bit of the latest Australian Mountain Bike magazine while watching Top Gear, have a laser instantaneously and painlessly zap my vas deferens to kingdom come, and then stumble back to the pub to finish the round.

Back in 2007 RiotACT reported that vasectomies were unavailable in Canberra, so I’m optimistically hoping the situation has improved drastically since then – although the government would rather see us continue to procreate. The thought of anyone going anywhere near my “boys” with a scalpel or laser is very, very scary, so please let me know if you have any recommendations or warnings.


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26 Responses to Where’s the best place in Canberra… to get the snip?!?
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KingMonty KingMonty 12:48 pm 08 Oct 09

Yep, Kaleen health centre was great. I went in on Friday and played golf on sunday. Bruising after a week was amusing but painless. It’s quite simple and honestly, getting a tattoo was more painful. The after tests are crucial. It usually requires two – three to make sure you have the zero sperm count. from memory it takes about two months to complete the effectiveness and ensure free sex for life!

chrisb92 chrisb92 7:54 pm 07 Oct 09

+1 Marie Stopes

I had it done back in 2007, a few weeks after #2 was born. Very clinical – it felt a bit like I was on a production line. But all-in-all, very easy and simple.

Taking the vial back to make sure I was firing blanks was probably more awkward than the actual op.

gp gp 3:00 pm 07 Oct 09

Another vote for Marie Stopes in Civic, three years ago for me. Caring, professional etc etc. I was the first for the day, so I made sure I staggered out wincing with pain for the benefit of all the men in the waiting area. A few hours later I wasn’t faking anymore. Panadol for two days.

The delivery of a warm sample in a vial to the poor lady in Deakin for all clear testing was a moment to reflect upon.

Have fun.

Hank Hank 10:23 am 07 Oct 09

That cartoon is so funny hahahaha

pptvb pptvb 7:35 pm 06 Oct 09

I went to JJMH – all good.
As Pesty said, the needle is the worst bit.
Oh and “Take away the pain, but leave the swelling please Doctor!”
wasn’t as funny as I thought it would be.

cranky cranky 6:46 pm 06 Oct 09

Another vote for Dr Pryor of Tuggers (albiet twenty something years since the deed was done).

Couple of observations. DO NOT exert yourself for a couple of days. I pushed a wheelchair around the following day, and paid dearly.

Twenty years or so down the track, episodes of pain are occuring. These have lasted for weeks. Seems it is not all that uncommon, not much can be done, and Panadol or stronger is your friend.

Pesty Pesty 5:58 pm 06 Oct 09

Just got mine done in gungahlin. Worst part is the needle going in to your nuts to deaden the pain! After that its fine. sorry, but I’m not joking, I nearly cried!

georgesgenitals georgesgenitals 5:27 pm 06 Oct 09

Great cartoon with this story. The female version is pretty funny too!

wishuwell wishuwell 5:23 pm 06 Oct 09

Kramer I would be concerned about any doctor practicing out of a local medical centre. If it was me I’d go for someone that knows what their doing.

Punter Punter 4:20 pm 06 Oct 09

My advice is to make sure a surgeon does the business and not the local doctor practicing out of the local medical centre.

Gungahlin Al Gungahlin Al 3:55 pm 06 Oct 09

trevar said :

My only advice is to ensure the entire family understands that you’ll be incapacitated for at least a week, so the remote control will be fully booked, and you’ll require a great deal of steak followed by ice cream to recover…

Same excuse for work[nudge/wink]. Although truth is that you’d be fine for work a day later.

A “mate who had it done” tells me that it’s a one or two-stitch hole through which a glorifed crochet hook yanks the tube, leading to a feeling like a 2kg dumbell is hauling on your balls, a snip of the tube followed by a wonderful smell as the ends are cauterised (burnt) and yet the most disconcerting part of it all being having a pretty young nurse/assistant looking at your most valuable bits without one iota of interest…

artuoui artuoui 3:42 pm 06 Oct 09

And getting the all clear is where the real fun starts – when you front up to the pathology lab with the still warm sample that you just created and present it to the lady at the counter.

dr.evil dr.evil 3:23 pm 06 Oct 09

I’ll recommend Dr.Pryor at Tuggeranong Medical Sq. He is one of the few GPs that still do them (unless he has retired since I saw him last). Just call up the medical centre and arrange an appointment – he runs through the pros/cons and details before taking a booking – there is a forced gap between these appointments (7 weeks) so that you have time to think about it. The procedure itself is pretty straight forward but everyone reacts differently. They made me sit up for a minute before standing up and getting lift home. The morphine hit me later in the afternoon and I had great sleep. I was out riding Stromlo 3 days later because I felt comfortable enough to do so. No ongoing issues either. Just remember you are not shooting blanks until a few months after the operation and you have been given the all clear.

Kramer Kramer 3:20 pm 06 Oct 09

I once snapped the seat off my hard tail mountain bike, and had to ride about 5 Km home with just the rest of the seat post sticking up… and I still had kids!

Thanks for the comments everyone! I also know a couple of other guys who might be in for the snip soon (you guys know who you are), so I’m thinking a RiotACT mass snip? Then we can sit around afterwards bitching about it and nursing a cold beer in the lap (just to soothe any swelling of course).

amarooresident2 amarooresident2 3:20 pm 06 Oct 09

I’ve got scissors. I’ll do it for $250.

Roguelette Roguelette 3:02 pm 06 Oct 09

After having my two roguelings 14 months apart my partner decided to have a vasectomy done just over a month ago at Marie Stopes in Civic. Cost about $500. According to him the whole procedure lasted about 20 minutes and for the most part was mostly uncomfortable rather than painful. The staff and envornment at the clinic were very professional. After about 3 days he was back to normal. 3 months after the procedure they do a sperm count to check that the procedure was a success and to give us the all clear. Apparently it takes a while to ‘clear the pipes’.

Postalgeek Postalgeek 2:51 pm 06 Oct 09

Take the bike seat off your mountain bike before going down Stromlo. You will also earn huge respect among mountain bikers. Post it on YouTube and watch it go viral.

Inappropriate Inappropriate 2:47 pm 06 Oct 09

mred said :

A brother of my sister-in-law was surprised to find out that the ‘effect’ wasn’t instant. So my understanding now is that after the procedure, you still need to get follow up checks to find out when / how long it takes for the little swimmers to stop.

It’s not waiting for the guys to stop, it’s a mere case of flushing the pipes.

trevar trevar 2:47 pm 06 Oct 09

The chap who does them at Foundation Health Care in Erindale is very good. I had a bit of an issue with the anaesthetic (which is an emerging pattern for me), but he made sure I was able to stay upright before kicking me off the table for the next bull to be bullocked.

In my experience, the pain wasn’t severe, but the discomfort (which was on the verge of pain) lasted longer than i was was warned it would. My only advice is to ensure the entire family understands that you’ll be incapacitated for at least a week, so the remote control will be fully booked, and you’ll require a great deal of steak followed by ice cream to recover…

AG Canberra AG Canberra 2:35 pm 06 Oct 09

Kaleen, Tuggers?!?! I was thinking somewhere a bit more sterile and equipped – like JJMH or NCPH…..

So these days it’s a bit like getting a tooth filled is it?

And Kramer – I too am in your situation – great post.

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