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How to catch a milk thief in the public service?

By ThatUniStudent - 1 June 2011 96

Hi, I’m posting this on behalf of a person who bugged me to friend. This friend works in a government department as a public slave servant. They like a cup of coffee now and then as they work shift work and like to stay alert. They also like to have breakfast at work some early days. So they usually take in a 2 litre bottle of milk now and then. They clearly label it as theirs. The problem, it seems, is people steal it.

At first it was small amounts, not worth worrying about. Now it seems wholesale. My friend had taken to marking the level of milk with a texta. People got around this by either:

  • Rubbing out the mark badly and drawing a new one in.
  • Adding new marks.
  • Worst of all, adding water to the milk.

In the last case my friend has twice seen the same co-worker remove a cup full of milk which that person hides away, then add a cup full of water to the milk.

Lately, someone has simply taken to stealing the whole 2 litre bottle of milk. They work in a large open plan office of about 200 people. They are not sure who has been doing it. They would like to find out. As the office is in a secure area, use of cameras is not permitted.

My spin on this is that my friend should just lock their milk in their desk and be damned if it is warm. Or just live with the occasional theft.

But I am sure many of you have far more devious, humerus, downright evil creative ways of catching a milk thief. Please remember though that any method should not incapacitate a person or affect their permanent ability to work, because that might get my friend in hot water.

What’s Your opinion?


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96 Responses to
How to catch a milk thief in the public service?
krasny 11:05 am 01 Jun 11

1. Buy a carton of goat milk, it’s usually near the long life stuff.
2. Empty it (consumption optional).
3. Fill with regular milk and take to work.

People will, in a pinch, use skim milk and even soy, but goat milk seems to make people nervous.

ThisIsAName 11:02 am 01 Jun 11

Add a tiny amount of denatonium to the milk?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Denatonium

This is the additive in metho to stop people drinking it!

Ryan 11:01 am 01 Jun 11

Hilarious suggestions aside, label it as soy or goats milk. Or put it in a coloured bottle rather than a clear one.

Pooks said :

Items needed:
Ding a ling, you thieving SOB.

This line alone had me giggling for a solid minute.

toriness 10:59 am 01 Jun 11

time for a passive aggressive note/labelling on the bottle/whole organisation email stating said bottle is yours and taking it is theft. hell at the least you could confront the person who was actually witnessed to take a cup of milk and replace the volume with water – the fact that they replaced the volume with water demonstrates clearly they knew they were stealing!

Keijidosha 10:58 am 01 Jun 11

PBO said :

5 drops of red food colouring, it will not change the flavour and it will look very unappealing.

I have done this, but with yellow food dye.
Labelling the milk as goat, soy or breast milk (as suggested) also does the trick.

stray 10:51 am 01 Jun 11

Lobby the HR department to supply milk weekly as there is obviously some staff members who are on hard times and have to resort to petty theft. If not, then go for #1.

dks00k 10:46 am 01 Jun 11

Im sure there are some sickos out there that would be lured in by the tought of drinking breastmilk.

Dont bother putting a label on it stating that you have “spat in it so drink at your own peril” Some clown is likely to ammend it with “Thats OK, so did I” what do you do then???

Inappropriate 10:44 am 01 Jun 11

Send out a memo asking why people stole your horse semen… Who ever vomits is the thief.

PBO 10:41 am 01 Jun 11

5 drops of red food colouring, it will not change the flavour and it will look very unappealing.

Pooks 10:39 am 01 Jun 11

Items needed:

1. Clear fishing line

2.1 small bell

3. A set of baby monitors

Tie a piece of clear fishing line onto the handle of the milk and attach it to a bell in the kitchen. Place 1 baby monitor near the bell, and the other on your work station.

Ding a ling, you thieving SOB.

The Frots 10:37 am 01 Jun 11

Solidarity said :

Label it as breast milk.

Now that is absolutely creative!!! +1 for this.

(Sadly, I know some people who wouldn’t be put off by this!!!).

Mr Evil 10:34 am 01 Jun 11

My tip is – buy a bottle of milk and leave it in the sun for a day or so, then place it in the fridge for the thieves to make themselves very sick on!

The smell alone should be enough to put them off milk for the rest of the year.

Moose 10:32 am 01 Jun 11

Purchase a little bottle for your milk?

Best suggestion is writing on the bottle (I have spat in this, use if needed). Maybe poor the new milk into a washed out milk container with one that’s out of date?

Elmo 10:32 am 01 Jun 11

Solidarity, that is an AWESOME idea! lol

Solidarity 10:25 am 01 Jun 11

Label it as breast milk.

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