5 November 2011

Now, That’s Original: Canberra Author Set To Be First 38yo Gay Virgin with OCD and No Earlobes to Reach Zero Gravity

| Troy Simpson
Join the conversation

Canberra Author Troy Simpson has set his ambitions high — in fact, 34,000ft high.

He’s just been named 1 of only 10 Finalists in Stoli Vodka Australia’s nationwide search for Australia’s “most original person”.

If Troy wins, he will be sent on a zero-gravity flight, will attend a party in Los Angeles, and will tour the Playboy Mansion.

But just how original is Troy?

Well, using figures from the United States, Googled especially for this article:

  • 127 out of 300,000,000 people are called “Troy Simpson”
  • around 4% of the general population is gay
  • 13.9% of men in the general population are virgins
  • 2.3% of the general population have obsessive-compulsive disorder
  • and no figures could be found (using a quick Google search) of the number of people with no earlobes.

These traits alone make Troy a more than 1-in-a-million chance. He’s more like a 1-in-a-some-very-large-figure-indeed chance.

And if he experiences weightlessness, which very few people have, then he will become even more original.

You can judge Troy’s claim to originality by watching his video here: https://www.facebook.com/pages/StoliVodkaAustralia/142211715812677?sk=app_109690879121757&app_data=finalists%2F13 (make sure you “Like” the application first so you can see the video).

As an extra incentive for voting, voters who help select the winner will have a chance to win some great Stoli prizes!

Voting closes 15 November 2011, so please hurry, and vote for originality. Vote for Troy!

Join the conversation

All Comments
  • All Comments
  • Website Comments

micky_c85 said :

Err, Troy… why are you referring to yourself in the third person?


I receive occasional job applications from people that run something like “Fred is a talented engineer and a natural communicator who…etc”. If someone else was saying that about Fred, it would have some credibility. But if the bloke boosting Fred is Fred himself then ones natural inclination is to discount *everything* that is said, and I tend to follow that inclination. Most of my colleagues feel the same way.

In other words, my advice is that spruiking yourself in the third person will most likely make lots of people not believe anything you say.

A gay guy winning a trip to the Playboy mansion?

What a waste.

TheDancingDjinn8:24 pm 08 Nov 11

aww no fair – you comment on an article about you and you don’t even have the courtesy to say YOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!

And, @ahappychappy, yes, I should get out and promote the community more. You are right.

And a gay man — in fact, two gay men — going to the Playboy Mansion isn’t just ironic; it’s original — which is the point of the competition.

Ahem… I have published OTHER things as well… it’s just that Funny English Errors, with more than 100,000 Facebook Fans, is the most popular.

ahappychappy8:30 am 07 Nov 11

Deref said :



Oh wait, isn’t this the bloke who is running as an independant at the next election?

I think you’ll need to do get out and promote the community a bit, instead of promoting your own entry into ridiculous internet competitions before people will stop asking “Who?” and voting for you.

neanderthalsis9:27 pm 06 Nov 11

LSWCHP said :

Deref said :



Who is Troy Simpson, and what has he published that validates his claim to being an author. This seems like a gee-up to me.

It seems he wrote a book called Funny English Errors and Insights which IMO makes him to the world of literature what Funniest Home Videos is to the world of television.

Deref said :



Who is Troy Simpson, and what has he published that validates his claim to being an author. This seems like a gee-up to me.

neanderthalsis1:59 pm 06 Nov 11

Is not a gay virgin pursuing a prize which includes a tour of the Playboy Mansion a little ironic?

Err, Troy… why are you referring to yourself in the third person?

krats said :

Gay Virgin?? Is That Not An Oxymoron!!

You can have sexual desire without experience

Gay Virgin?? Is That Not An Oxymoron!!

Daily Digest

Want the best Canberra news delivered daily? Every day we package the most popular Riotact stories and send them straight to your inbox. Sign-up now for trusted local news that will never be behind a paywall.

By submitting your email address you are agreeing to Region Group's terms and conditions and privacy policy.