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Odgenville, West Havenbrook, Springfield and now Canberra

By S4anta - 22 July 2005 40

Our esteemed local tome the Canberra Times is reporting here of plans for a monorail, that will deliver inter-town trips within five minutes.

“Aren’t you afraid the tracks will bend?”
“Not at all, my Hindu Friend”

There are also plans underfoot to sink roads around Civic and create land bridges, which I actually think has merit but I doubt that puppy wont fly.

And it’s all for a cheap $1.2 billion, which is being kicked in by a Singapore financier. the project itself was conceived by local planners, architects and engineers.

If only Homer could see us now.

What’s Your opinion?


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40 Responses to
Odgenville, West Havenbrook, Springfield and now Canberra
Absent Diane 12:06 pm 22 Jul 05

Yeah and it will probably be a track guage that doesn’t actually fit the particular mode of transport the government purchases… or is it only defence that do that kind of thing??

ssanta 12:05 pm 22 Jul 05

I reckon our MLA’s ought wear Mickey Mouse ears whilst voting.

Maelinar 12:04 pm 22 Jul 05

I’d also like to know what a ‘modest legislative assembly’ would look like compared to a ‘fucking excessive waste of money legislative assembly’

There be small print in that thar article..

arr.

Maelinar 12:02 pm 22 Jul 05

I still desire in the bottom of my heart to one day ride a boat to work, but I’d settle for jetpacks.

ssanta 11:59 am 22 Jul 05

10 bucks if we do go light rail, some freaking rocket scientist will propose and implement a different track guage to the rest of Australia.

bonfire 11:56 am 22 Jul 05

the problem with monorail proposals (that appear out of nowhere like this one) is that they tar all mass transit alternative proposals as nutty.

the advantage that light rail has is that it is a worldwide industry, with standards that competitors adhere to. So choice of vehicle, track, support services become competitive – and offer alternatives while still being compatible with teh basic infrastructure in place.

mag-lev, monorail, civis busways – lock the ACT into proprietary systems.

bulldog 11:53 am 22 Jul 05

I’m liking the Canals Thumper.

Certainly more realistic than a monorail. Didn’t we already do this (just a couple of times), or is monorail not classified as light rail?

F*cking Clown Shoes.

Absent Diane 11:51 am 22 Jul 05

Big fan of the port idea…. maybe we could put a fake reef as well – then we could attract tourist dollars to offset the charges of the canal… maybe we could create another canal system all the way through canberra creating a venice like situation – which could attract the money to import freshwater mantaray on flying foxes… huh?..huh?

Maelinar 11:47 am 22 Jul 05

What’s next ?

Intelligent Carp with lasers attached to their foreheads ?

Regenerating LBG into a wonderful subaquatic lifestyle choice ?

(I’m still being haunted by the image of Ja-Ja Diane)

Ralph 11:23 am 22 Jul 05

Is it April fools day?

ssanta 10:57 am 22 Jul 05

Marge Vs. The Monorail
Monorail song
Lyle Lanley: Well, sir, there’s nothing on earth like a genuine, bona fide, electrified, six-car Monorail! What’d I say?
Flanders: Monorail!
Lanley: What’s it called?
Patty & Selma: Monorail!
Lanley: That’s right! Monorail!
[crowd chants ‘Monorail’]

Miss Hoover: I hear those things are awfully loud…
Lanley: It glides as softly as a cloud.
Apu: Is there a chance the track could bend?
Lanley: Not on your life, my Hindu friend.

Barney: What about us brain-dead slobs?
Lanley: You’ll be given cushy jobs.
Abe: Were you sent here by the devil?
Lanley: No, good sir, I’m on the level.

Wiggum: The ring came off my pudding can.
Lanley: Take my pen knife, my good man.
I swear it’s Springfield’s only choice,
Throw up your hands and raise your voice!
All: Monorail!
Lanley: What’s it called?
All: Monorail!
Lanley: Once again…
All: Monorail!

Marge: But Main Street’s still all cracked and broken…
Bart: Sorry, Mom, the mob has spoken!
All: Monorail! Monorail! Monorail!
[big finish] Monorail!
Homer: Mono… D’oh!

From doh’eth

Smackbang 10:54 am 22 Jul 05

Canals = way cool.

You should write up a proposal and send it to Minister Corbell. CC it to the Times and they’ll give you front page, so long as you have a pretty rendering.

bonfire 10:53 am 22 Jul 05

this smells.

Thumper 10:51 am 22 Jul 05

Shelbyville revisited.

Can’t our planners come up with something sane? Not just pie in the sky ideas that are no brainers.

Geez, why not tunnel through the Clyde Mountain so the trip down the coast is quicker….

Better still, dig a huge canal from Batemans Bay and lnk it into the Jerrabombra wetlands. Canberra could have a port. That would be cool.

The Port of Canberra. Nice ring to it, and we could catch bream, flatties, and ugly fat toads instead of carp.

Now there’s a sane idea.

Smackbang 10:49 am 22 Jul 05

It was only a matter of time. Who cares about busways or light rail?! Monorail is the way of the future! (Or perhaps, the way of the late 80s.)

What a joke. When I saw this headline on the CT, I thought perhaps April 1 had come late this year.

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