Police Wrap - 29 September

isn’t the base at jervis bay still part of the ACT?

Where do you find a star picket in the middle of Commonwealth Avenue bridge anyway?

Further info RE: the star picket incident from the oh-so-credible news.com.au:

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,24418772-29277,00.html

“Sea robbery is a term used to describe attacks upon commercial vessels in ports and territorial waters. Such attacks are, according to international law, not true acts of piracy but rather armed robberies. They are criminal assaults on vessels and vessel crews, just as may occur to truck drivers within a port area. Such attacks pose a serious threat to trade. The methods of these attacks have varied from direct force using heavy weapons to subterfuge in which the criminals have identified themselves on VHF radio as the national coast guard.

These maritime criminals are inclined to operate in waters where government presence is weak, often lacking in both technical resources and the political will to deal effectively with such attacks. International law permits any warship or government vessel to repress an attack in international waters. In a state’s territorial waters, such attacks constitute an act of armed robbery and must be dealt with under the laws of the relevant coastal state.”

Now we just have to get HMAS whatever is closest to come and patrol our territorial waters. This technically counts as a missile attack within ACT borders. The range of offences that a judge could this person with is quite large. However a slap with a limp piece of asparagus seems most likely as the offender probably come from a broken home where his parents did not love him enought causing his drug problem (which is really societies fault anyway) which in turn drove him onto the street so he had to experience the harsh reality that is the Canberra causing him to snap and take a star picket to the bridge and try to slay the white whale of LBG.

…or at least shout back “Ha! Missed me, bitch!”

Why didn’t the paddle steamer return fire? Surely they carry some sort of cannon?

neanderthalsis said :

If he had thrown it at a passing car, there is a very good chance he would have killed someone.

If he had thrown a starpicket ANYWHERE in a public place there is a chance he would have killed someone too… No matter where he threw it.

There was a large crowd meandering across Commonwealth Ave on Sunday at noon, I presume numbers were the same on Sat. He would have been seen and one would hope that a man carrying a star picket across a bridge and throwing it at a boat is the sort of thing that sticks in the mind of the flower show going public (mostly Little Old Ladies in straw hats and disgruntled husbands).

If he had thrown it at a passing car, there is a very good chance he would have killed someone.

Surely someone saw a bloke carrying a picket along the bridge on a Saturday morning! With Floriade on there would have been a lot of people around. Hopefuly some publicity here or in the more traditional media will result in the quick arrest of this nutter.

Maybe he was hunting the elisive LBG Monster using traditional bogan hunting methods.

Aarrgh, call me Ishmael………Police are now on the lookout for a 45 – 50 year old bearded man with peg leg and a startling resemblence to Captain Ahab.

Holy crap, hurling a star picket from a bridge towards a vessel is totally nuts.

Are we sure there are no undiscovered primitive tribes on the shores of Lake Burley Griffin? Sorta reminds of the arrow attack on the PBR Streetgang in Apocalypse Now.

PS Enterprise…

Paddle Steamer, owned by the National Museum, running around the lake to help add to the Floriade atmosphere in Canberra?

Way to spoil a party, random guy.

How do some people get through four decades of life being so incredibly stupid?
He threw a star picket at a boat with passengers? What a wonder-tool!

Sorry, 45-50 year old.

Starpicket to the Starboard side, Good throw for a 50-60 year old.

what would possess someone to do that?

absolute moron.

Okay, the media release is up, and I was entirely off the mark.

Someone threw a star picket from Commonwealth bridge down -into- a boat full of people, before running away.
Strangely, not a bored kid, he’s described as being 45-50.

This is just a guess but I reckon it will say something like:

Vessel comes under star picket attack
Monday, 29 September 2008

ACT Policing is investigating a dangerous incident involving a vessel which occurred on Lake Burley Griffin over the weekend.

About 9:45am on Saturday (September 27) the paddle steamer the PS Enterprise was heading on an easterly course under Commonwealth Avenue Bridge when a male threw a star picket at the boat from the northbound footpath of the bridge. There were six people onboard the vessel at the time.

The star picket was thrown in a spear-like fashion and punched a hole in the timber wheelhouse of the vessel. No one was injured during the incident.

Water police arrived alongside the PS Enterprise within minutes of the offence and after an extensive search of the area there was no further sighting of the offender.

The male offender is described as 40 to 50 years of age, with a stocky build, short brown hair, and was wearing dark clothing.

Police are urging anyone who may have witnessed the attack or who knows the identity of the offender to contact Crime Stoppers on 1800 333 000, or via the Crime Stoppers website on http://www.act.crimestoppers.com.au.

Entirely fabricated story, based only on the following:
There’s the marina at the Yacht Club, there is resurfacing work going on along the paths nearby, and we have bored young people in the suburbs.

Someone grabbed one of the star pickets being used to keep the warning fabric around a cycle path pothole, wielded it like a spear, and hurled it at the souvenir of some rich guy’s mid-life crisis.
Police are now fishing for answers.

Discuss, at least until the media release goes up.