Bad Slam No Biscuit is returning to the Phoenix next week and has this to say about itself on Facebook:
BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! is a Poetry Slam. That means BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! gives you five judges, two minutes, a microphone, a stage and an audience so you can take to the stage and SLAM your words at everyone in the Pub AND BE JUDGED. YES, your words. Be they haiku about your coffee, senryu on the winsome postman, hip hop to your mum, a sonnet about your Ventolin, or the shopping list from last night that includes how much you hate the neighbour’s dog, YOU HAVE THE STAGE FOR TWO MINUTES. And why would you do this? FOR GLORY OF COURSE, but also for prizes, THAT’S RIGHT — FOR PRIZES!
NOW WITH SPECIAL ADDED POET STEVE SMART FROM MELBOURNE
Because not only does BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! give you everything above, it also gives you five First Prizes, YES YOU READ RIGHT FIVE FIRST PRIZES. Because while the five judges determine ONE FIRST PRIZE as added by the Score Adder, so too does our MASTER OF CONFLICT, based on his random bias, determine a First Prize, as does it BEING YOUR FIRST TIME TO SLAM AT BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! — you win First Prize.
ALSO WITH SPECIAL ADDED EL KIRSCHBAUM FROM THE CIRCUS
And also, if you slam on the night first, that means you go first, then of course you must win First Prize. Now I can hear you thinking that that is only four First Prizes, well you are correct. Because the fifth First Prize, this one night only, is to be The Trans-Time-Trans-Space-Trans-Slam Slam Poetry Champion of All Space and Time — also known as First Prize. So join JACINTA, the Score Adder, the Master of Conflict and Andrew Gayland for BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! and remember: two minutes, original material, no props, no music.