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A Canberran’s guide to Brisvegas

Jey 4 January 2007 50

I’ve received a PhD scholarship offer from two Queensland universities, the partner is lined up for a job transfer and we’ve purchased a shiny house in the the Logan Shire (30 minutes between Bris and the Gold Coast).

Having lived in Canberra all our lives, I fear we may get eaten alive. Any tips for surviving Brisbane (and the Gold Coast) for two born and bred Canberrans?

Advice would be appreciated on:
– Restaurants
– Pubs/Clubs (Heavy metal clubs and queer/ queer friendly clubs particularly)
– Shopping for allergy safe food
– Handling the public transport system
– Any odd Queensland laws and road rules
-Anything to do with University of Queensland and Queensland University of Technology
– General tips on moving house/interstate

And, of course, anything at all you can think of that may be of use.
Cheers!


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50 Responses to A Canberran’s guide to Brisvegas
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Hasdrubahl 8:09 pm 01 Feb 07

Kept my fish and chips warm for 30 minutes - must be good.

Jey 8:01 pm 01 Feb 07

Anyone know if the Courier and Sunday Mail is any good?

Jey 1:08 pm 12 Jan 07

*insert banjo music from Deliverance*

Thumper 12:51 pm 12 Jan 07

It's okay, you only have to worry when they are sitting on the porch ssucking apple sauce through a straw whilst cradling a shotgun and playing the banjo.

That's when it's time to worry...

err, kind of like some of the creepy little joints along the Murray down Moama/ Echuca way....

Jey 12:21 pm 12 Jan 07

oh dear

Thumper 12:11 pm 12 Jan 07

It's how they seal deals in QLD....

Jey 11:39 am 12 Jan 07

Hear about that shooting at the real estate agent in Logan? We went to that real estate agent. Creepy.

sbbolton 4:37 pm 08 Jan 07

Having lived for 27 years in Brisneyland (with the exception of a brief foray into the far north) heres some some advice...

They have introdused a blanket system for public transport, so one ticket can do trains, buses, and ferries.

Cane toads can be killed with a liberal spray of detol or with the traditional golf club. Brisbane sees very few of the true leviathans that can grow up to 30cms long and weigh well over a kg. The only way to dispatch them is with a cricket bat or a land rover.

Places to go in Brisbane:

The 3 Monkeys in Stones Corners, a great little cafe, used to have chess tables out in the courtyard.

If you go to UQ, then drinking at the RE or the Regatta is compulsory.

The Story Bridge Hotel (right under the Story Bridge) is quite good and does cheap meals.

The Jazz Club, a dilapidated little hut near the Story Bridge Hotel does get some great local talent there.

For heavy metal and queer bars, there are a few placed in the Valley, get off the train at Brunswick street and either follow a Goth or Tranny and they will probably lead you there.

Thanks to the Jo Guvvmint many years ago, QLD enjoys petrol around 10c cheaper than the rest of the country.

If you move to Logan, mainly the Kingston, Woodridge area, then you need a VB Commodore or XD Falcon on blocks in the driveway. Bogan central and has one of the highest rates of unemployment for a QLD urban area.

I made the move from Bris down with Grace, they were quite good and nothing major was damaged.

I got this email some time ago, it sums up the weather in Bris pretty well:

Diary of a Brisbane Summer (by a Pom). Note the dates...

August 31st

Just got transferred with work into our new home in Brisbane!! Now this is

a city that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy

evenings. What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck chair on the

verandah. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.

September 13th:

Really heating up. Got to 35 today. Not a problem. Live in an

air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see

the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshiper.

September 30th:

Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and

rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another

scorcher today, but I love it here.

October 10th

The temperature hasn't been below 30 all week. How do people get used to

this kind of heat? At least today it's kind of windy though. But getting

used to the heat and humidity is taking longer that I expected.

October 15th:

Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed

3days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to

respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

October 20th:

I missed Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By

the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Kitty had died and swollen up to

the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $3,000 leather upholstery. I

told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Wiskettes and cat

shit. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.

October 25th:

The wind sucks. It feels like a giant bloody blow dryer!! And it's hot as

hell. The home air-conditioner is on the blink and the AC repairman charged

$200 just to drive over and tell me he needed to order parts.

October 30th:

Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. Bloody $450,000 house

and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?

November 4th:

It's 35 degrees. Finally got the ol' air-conditioner fixed today. It cost

$500 and gets the temperature down to 25, but this bloody humidity makes

the house feel like it's about 30. Stupid repairman. I hate this stupid

place.

November 8th:

If another wise arse cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to

strangle him. Bloody heat. By the time I get to work the car's radiator was

boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!

November 9th:

Tried to run some messages after work. Wore shorts, and sat on the black

leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my arse was on fire. I lost 2

layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and my arse. Now my

car smells like burnt hair, fried arse, and baked cat.

November 10th:

The weather report might as well be a bloody recording. Hot and sunny. Hot

and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do anything for 2 damn

months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't

it ever rain in this damn place? Water rationing will be next, so my $2,000

worth of palms just might dry up and blow into the bloody pool. Even the

palms can't live in this heat.

November 14th:

Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 38 today. Now the air-conditioner's

gone in my car. The repairman came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you

today?" My wife had to spend the $2,500 house payment to bail my arse out

of jail for assulting the repairman. Bloody Brisbane. What kind of a sick

demented idiot would want to live here?

December 1st:

WHAT????? This is the first day of Summer???? You are fu*king kidding

Jey 11:49 am 07 Jan 07

I've always said 'haitch', maybe I'll fit right in!

simbo 10:28 pm 06 Jan 07

Well, that's the tradition. Add "H' to words that don't need it, and take "H" away from words that do.

Perfectly simple.

Hasdrubahl 10:26 pm 06 Jan 07

Strange, that, because only in Bris do they call me 'asdrubahl...

I-filed 5:05 pm 06 Jan 07

I spent a year in Brisbane studying and everyone in Q says 'haitch' instead of 'aitch', not just the Catholics. I still say 'haitch' to this day...

Jey 3:54 pm 05 Jan 07

I'd already accepted both scholarships just was waiting for the official word from UQ.

Slinky, sounds good, might be in touch mid-Feb.

Slinky the Shocker 3:40 pm 05 Jan 07

Congrats Jey, if you wanna have a beer around UQ, drop me a line, I'm here every day...

terubo 3:06 pm 05 Jan 07

Congrats Jey, and well done on taking our advice :-)

Jey 10:34 am 05 Jan 07

Just been formally accepted into UQ! :D

Jey 9:58 am 05 Jan 07

We generally plan on using public transport for trips into the CBD.

Truck is being hired and family member is driving it for us.

Yeah, I we were at Logan Central a few times and noticed the high density of bogans, anyway, I think I already said that.

Fortunately we have a bunch of other shopping centres near us.

Brown's Plains Centre was nice.

Sammy 9:30 am 05 Jan 07

I was at the Ikea near Logan last week. It is indeed massive. Stay away from the big shopping centre, Logan Central, which is more commonly known as Bogan Central.

sheer 9:25 am 05 Jan 07

OMG I went to school in Waterford West. It isn't actually too bad - you're right near the edge of the Gold Coast/Logan border, so you miss out on the worst of the boganism. You might want to think about getting the train in (to Dutton Park, then walk across the new bridge) to get to UQ though, because it's a fair run in from there.

Make sure you do a run up Tambourine once you're settled. The Cedar Creek falls aren't far from you and they're the only place to be on a hot day!

I'd also add to Seepi's list of essentials any items you couldnt bear to have destroyed by your removalist. Speaking from experience here (I lost literally everything I owned when I moved here), it's worth taking stuff like your computer or special photos etc with you, rather than entrusting it to a stranger just cos he owns a big truck.

Seepi, I heard The Forest had gone?

lateralis 9:12 am 05 Jan 07

I disagree. I taught in the worst suburbs of Logan, and I have to say that Chisholm, Theodore, Kambah, Richardson etc have just as bad, if not worse redneck and abusive behaviour from parents and their kids. Tuggeranong ferals are right up there with Logan bogans. They are all from the same gene pool.

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