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Family divorce advice in Canberra?

By willofyass 16 August 2012 46

Looking for some advice, have been married for 5 years, have a boy together who is 9 no property as we rent and no cash to divide however she wants to get back with her ex boyfriend in Cairns QLD (who they have a kid together) and has told me she is taking our boy and nothing i can do bout it I cant see this going anywhere without solicitors but any good advice would be of most welcome

I am great dad and provide 100% for my lad she is good too but just wants to get back with ex and nothing i say is changing her mind.

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46 Responses to
Family divorce advice in Canberra?
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greenman 3:20 pm 10 Apr 15

After a long and drawn out divorce – my ex and I are amicable – and wish to locate a property in the Canberra region – where we live with our kids – but not with eachother. for example top floor/bottom floor – separate living – even an A and B type set up. I know a couple of split families who’ve tried this in Melbourne and it seems to work well. Does anyone know of any such properties here in Canberra ? Rent or Buy ? Any info is appreciated…


gregz 11:32 pm 19 Aug 12

Myself: DINK (dual income, no kids) but retired senior social worker; “uncle” real” & de-facto to many distressed children. It’s a cultural thing. Sorry – but I’m not white, even though I’m 5th generation Aussie born Asian (i.e. not an Abrahamite – Jew, Xt’n, etc).
Unknown to most single mothers (most cultures), a GOOD father-figure & father-bonding is more important than any isolated, ignorant dictator. There are formally organized groups for the children of divorcing & divorced children. Locate them, with or without the participation of the isolated ‘carer’. Also normally children at about age 9 can use the internet. Soon he will ‘meet’ you on his face-book pages, without his guardian’s knowledge, at the school, local or internet-cafe computer.
Give him a mobile phone/ plan with SMS on it. If you can afford SMS via a low-cost phone plan will work. There are many smartphones (second-hand in his case; kids damage/ lose them easily). If you get a smartphone with add-ons that tell you his geographical address when he phones-SMS, it maybe more comfortable for both. Smartphones (not Apple) often take memory cards. Children like the many free games, music, etc that can be loaded onto these memory cards.
One ‘comfort’: each re-marriage means that later re-marriages also happen often & easily.
In my retirement years, I watch the solo-workers (lawyers, counsellors, medicos, psychiatrists, psychologists, etc …) who ignore that we humans are group creatures, not solo, culture-independent cacti. “They” are cactus’s, and these isolates treat everyone around them as another cactus. That’s why I enjoy the bad remedies devised by Channel’s 10 “Dr Pil”, middays during the week.

LSWCHP 9:17 pm 19 Aug 12

Flossie said :

What a terrible situation.
I just wanted to mention that if the stress is getting to you, please remember that lifeline is there 24/7. They won’t tell you what to do, but they will listen and support.
Their number is 131114.
Sometimes the wee small hours are the hardest.
Good luck

I’ll second that. I spent a lot of time staring at the ceiling at 3 in the morning wondering WTF I was going to do, how I could maintain contact with my kids, how I’d cope financially etc.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

Masquara 8:53 pm 19 Aug 12

Just a recent tale to give you hope, and demonstrate that the Lone Fathers can be a bit pessimistic: Early in 2011 a mother I know took her two kids to Queensland from western NSW, claiming domestic violence (very unlikely), and without the father’s permission. He had no job, but was a caring parent and the two kids are attached to him. She is the breadwinner. His family were amazed when, after nearly six whole months in Queensland with the mum, and the kids “settled” in a new school, and living near the mum’s particular immigrant community, the court found in the dad’s favour and told the mum that if she wanted to be around her kids she had to return and stay in ******* (country town) even though it was a place where she would be unlikely to find a job. Her mistake was racking off with the kids, and assuming that it would be a “fait accompli” that the kids were settled in their new home. Everyone who knew the couple were delighted and amazed by the outcome – it was totally unexpected, as everyone thought “providing” is the main thing. Justice providing recognised the strong emotional bond with the dad, and although he is pretty piecemeal financially, he doesn’t drink or do drugs, and manages pretty well on their small income. The kids have been back with dad for several months now, settled back in school. The mum has to either live in ******* or travel down from Queensland every couple of weeks to see them. I suspect the Beak was pretty pissed off about the domestic violence story – said father has NO history of violence in ANY context, and it did seem like a tall tale.

Flossie 8:09 pm 19 Aug 12

What a terrible situation.
I just wanted to mention that if the stress is getting to you, please remember that lifeline is there 24/7. They won’t tell you what to do, but they will listen and support.
Their number is 131114.
Sometimes the wee small hours are the hardest.
Good luck

Masquara 6:54 pm 19 Aug 12

YeahBuddy said :

Masquara said :

Most importantly, GET TO LEGAL AID NOW so they are representing you and not your partner! They can’t represent both sides in a dispute, and once your ex is their client, that cuts you out. or maybe the ACT legal aid website can help too.

Urban Legend – Legal Aid can and do fund both sides in Family Court matters

They can FUND two parties but they cannot REPRESENT two parties. Get it right willya!

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