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Kamikaze Magpie Under Seige

By rosebud - 2 October 2008 46

Allied Forces (ACT Parks people) were today seen mounting a counter attack to rid fair Ainslie of the Magpie menace that has terrorised local residents for the last four weeks. 

“He’s mad!” said one frightened resident, who wished to remain anonymous for fear of retribution. 

“The last month has been terrible. I can’t put on me lotto or have a cold one at Edgars because ol’ Yamamoto dives bombs me everytime I leave the house,” said another victim of this indiscriminate winged terror.

“You one of them that called the hotline?” ranger lady enquired when this eye-witness slowed the car to take a gander at the crime scene.

“No, but he went me the other day. I think he wanted to take me eye out!” I confirmed.

“We’ll try our best Ma’am,” stated the second officer. 

I am sure I speak for all peace loving citizens of Ainslie when I wish them good luck and good hunting (for the tree huggers, they were actually trying to capture it in a cage – not sure how that will go. Do they maybe have a minature cyclist in there?).

What’s Your opinion?


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46 Responses to
Kamikaze Magpie Under Seige
peterh 1:31 pm 02 Oct 08

miz said :

Is it true that feeding birds aspirin makes them explode? Or is it just seagulls? (Not that I would ever countenance such a thing, but I have a teenage son who comes home with these stories . . . at least I hope they are stories . . .)

if they are covered in blood and feathers, worry.

miz 1:26 pm 02 Oct 08

Is it true that feeding birds aspirin makes them explode? Or is it just seagulls? (Not that I would ever countenance such a thing, but I have a teenage son who comes home with these stories . . . at least I hope they are stories . . .)

rosebud 1:14 pm 02 Oct 08

S4anta said :

1. wet bread so it goes doughy.
2. liberally cover said wet bread with with chilli/cayenne pepper
3. roll into little balls and feed to bird

As bird grabs bread ball and flies away wait for about three seconds and when it ‘coughs’ it will fold it wings in involuntarily(sp?), falling out of sky and forcing into a fairly rapid attempt to get itself back air born again.

Nearly as funny as fat people in lycra.

That is terrible! I can’t agree with torturing a creature, no matter how funny it may sound in the writing. And as for the Magpies, I’m appalled at the suggestion. It is bad bad juju that you propose.

S4anta 1:09 pm 02 Oct 08

1. wet bread so it goes doughy.
2. liberally cover said wet bread with with chilli/cayenne pepper
3. roll into little balls and feed to bird

As bird grabs bread ball and flies away wait for about three seconds and when it ‘coughs’ it will fold it wings in involuntarily(sp?), falling out of sky and forcing into a fairly rapid attempt to get itself back air born again.

Nearly as funny as fat people in lycra.

miz 1:05 pm 02 Oct 08

My son hit a maggie with his skateboard a few years ago (in self-defence) and killed it. Not sure if this kind of horrible death is preferable to euthanasing? Except, I suppose, it died doing what it loved best . .

Apparently maggies get hormonal this time of year and, given their exceptional memory and longevity, they are therefore likely to Bear a Grudge For a Long Time. So I guess the moral is, don’t torment them and they won’t get so karmically vicious.

rosebud 1:02 pm 02 Oct 08

peterh said :

and if that doesn’t work, you would get a magpie that would stick to bikes. hmmm. no.[/quote>

Funny!

peterh 1:01 pm 02 Oct 08

Gungahlin Al said :

“if you release them in the brindabellas, they come back”
Maybe you need to put magnets in the cage when relocating them to mess up their tracking system? Or tie a little magnet to it’s leg to permanently mess it up?
🙂

and if that doesn’t work, you would get a magpie that would stick to bikes. hmmm. no.

Gungahlin Al 12:53 pm 02 Oct 08

“if you release them in the brindabellas, they come back”
Maybe you need to put magnets in the cage when relocating them to mess up their tracking system? Or tie a little magnet to it’s leg to permanently mess it up?
🙂

Thumper 12:43 pm 02 Oct 08

Geez, give him a break. He’ll be all out off puff next week and go back to being a cute little bird with a funny gargly call rather than a luftwaffe trained dive bomber raining hell from the skies upon unsuspecting travellers.

Stung 12:38 pm 02 Oct 08

hit him with a stick when he swoops, that should sort him out quick fast.

tylersmayhem 12:30 pm 02 Oct 08

Do they maybe have a minature cyclist in there?).

Haha *grins*. Get Wonka’s shrinking machine in and I’ll do it!

Thumper 12:30 pm 02 Oct 08

Leave the little bugger alone…

Danman 12:26 pm 02 Oct 08

As I said in the other thread – Alfred Hitchcock would be proud.

tastyjam 12:23 pm 02 Oct 08

I once punched a magpie in the face. Didn’t mean to, it was swooping me from behind.

peterh 12:21 pm 02 Oct 08

they will take it away and euthanise it. there is no other option – if you release them in the brindabellas, they come back (and are now madder than ever, after being transported away from their nest)

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